


screw you

by aiyah



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Adventure Time References, Alternate Universe - College/University, Bottoming from the Top, But I Don't Dance, Crushes, Enthusiastic Consent, Fluff, High School Musical References, Humor, M/M, Matchmaking, Smut, Texting, What Have I Done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:55:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26098969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aiyah/pseuds/aiyah
Summary: Sokka's to-do list includes finishing his problem set, hunting down that cute math major from Suki's house party, and going on a silly blind date. (Not necessarily in that order.)
Relationships: Mai/Ty Lee (Avatar), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 24
Kudos: 422





	screw you

**Author's Note:**

> (this is NOT for foxxy. foxxy is not allowed to read this)
> 
> um. so. an attempt at smut has been made. please be warned. and please enjoy :'^)
> 
> unbeta'd, as always. all mistakes are mine

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**Rice Program Council (RPC) >> RPC Presents: Screw-Yer-Roommate 2019**

_It’s that time of year! Screw-Yer-Roommate is here!_

So here’s the lowdown on Screw, for those of you just joining or needing a quick refresh on this beloved tradition. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to set your roommate up on a blind date. This means their fate is in your hands. **Remember** :

1) Find that special someone—not for you, stupid, for your roommate.  
2) Now that you’ve found someone, connect with their roommate to see if s/he is actually, y’know, available.  
3) Costumes: gotta have ‘em, gotta match ‘em. (I mean, how else are they gonna find each other? Whether it’s peanut butter & jelly, or godzilla & mothra, or red bull & exams, make it as ~~difficult~~ creative as y’all would like. Guessing’s half the fun, right?)  
4) Code phrase: okay, we aren’t completely heartless—come up with a fun code phrase for your roommate to find their date.  
5) ~~Coerce them~~ Bring your roommate to the Academic Quad at 5:00 PM on September 13th so Willy can watch ~~sparks fly~~ while they find their ~~true love~~ Screw date.

So keep an eye out in your classes, peruse the first look book, look during parties, stalk on Facebook, look around in Club Fondy for that perfect person—you can even post an ad on this event page to attract potential suitors!

Remember to check back here for updates! If you have any questions, please feel free to contact the RPC Socials at socials.rpc@gmail.com.

Happy Screwing!

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> **Toph Beifong >> RPC Presents: Screw-Yer-Roommate 2019**
> 
> ladies & gentlemen boys & girls, it is my greatest pleasure 🍾 to present you with the opportunity of a lifetime 😉 sokka qanik 😉 your local card-carrying bisexual 🏳️🌈 he’s not as 🧊 cold as you might think 🥵 this stunning specimen’s a mechⓔ major so you already know he’s great at taking things apart with his bare ✋🤚 and he’s willing to get down ⬇️ and dirty 🤭 if you know what i’m sayin 🤫 a 5’11” hunk who’s got it all 😍 the looks 👀 the brain 🧠 the charm 👄 but warning❗️this bad boy’s a tall drink of water 💦💦💦 in the streets and a raging river 🌊🌊🌊 in the sheets 💯 chance of getting wet ☔️ now comes with a hands-on 👌 approach anyone is sure to appreciate 😏 so hmu if you want your roomie to have the date of a lifetime 💥💥💥

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[sugar queen // 3:24 pm] Toph, delete that post right now.  
[sugar queen // 3:24 pm] I’m not going to repeat myself again.  
[sugar queen // 3:24 pm] Also, how did you even get into the group?  
[sugar queen // 3:25 pm] You don’t even go here.

[toph // 3:30 pm] What  
[toph // 3:30 pm] Oh lol  
[toph // 3:31 pm] The post  
[toph // 3:31 pm] Lmao  
[toph // 3:32 pm] Suki let me into the group  
[toph // 3:32 pm] Isn’t that great

[sugar queen // 3:44 pm] WHY.  
[sugar queen // 3:44 pm] Why would she do that???

[toph // 3:57 pm] Not sure  
[toph // 3:57 pm] But I like it  
[toph // 3:58 pm] Especially when people put lots of emojis in their post  
[toph // 3:58 pm] Gotta read each one out loud  
[toph // 3:58 pm] Hell yeah

[sugar queen // 4:31 pm] I…  
[sugar queen // 4:31 pm] I literally…  
[sugar queen // 4:32 pm] I literally have no words.  
[sugar queen // 4:32 pm] Why would you write a post for Sokka.  
[sugar queen // 4:33 pm] WHY WOULD YOU WRITE A POST FOR MY BROTHER.  
[sugar queen // 4:34 pm] Just… why.

[toph // 4:38 pm] Uh cause I could?  
[toph // 4:38 pm] I was bored  
[toph // 4:39 pm] Lol

[sugar queen // 5:01 pm] I’m not even going to ask you about the pictures.

[toph // 5:05 pm] Yeah you probably shouldn’t  
[toph // 5:05 pm] It’s a long story

[sugar queen // 5:19 pm] I really didn’t need to see Sokka on my feed like that.

[toph // 5:21 pm] Like what

[sugar queen // 5:30 pm] His…  
[sugar queen // 5:30 pm] His…  
[sugar queen // 5:31 pm] Why is he shirtless???

[toph // 5:45 pm] Beats me  
[toph // 5:45 pm] Not like I can see it or anything  
[toph // 5:46 pm] I just added on whatever photos Suki gave me

[sugar queen // 6:00 pm] … I can’t.

[toph // 7:21 pm] Well sorry you had to look at his ABS  
[toph // 7:22 pm] Too scandalous for you amirite

[sugar queen // 8:00 pm] …  
[sugar queen // 8:00 pm] I’m blocking you.

[toph // 8:14 pm] You know you won’t  
[toph // 8:14 pm] Gotta have me around  
[toph // 8:15 pm] You need my chaos

[sugar queen // 8:55 pm] But not like this???

[toph // 9:10 pm] Didn’t he have a thing with that girl  
[toph // 9:10 pm] The one about the moon  
[toph // 9:10 pm] Or something

[sugar queen // 9:41 pm] Oh, Yue?  
[sugar queen // 9:41 pm] No, that was just a rumor.  
[sugar queen // 9:42 pm] Just because he’s single doesn’t mean he’s lonely.

[toph // 10:05 pm] Fine fine  
[toph // 10:05 pm] Want me to take it down?

[sugar queen // 10:33 pm] …  
[sugar queen // 10:33 pm] No…  
[sugar queen // 10:34 pm] You gave me an idea.

[toph // 11:11 pm] Oh lordt  
[toph // 11:11 pm] What sort of idea?

[sugar queen // 11:12 pm] You’ll see.

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> **Katara Qanik >> RPC Presents: Screw-Yer-Roommate 2019**
> 
> TICKLING THE DRAGON’S TAIL—Can be a dangerous and risky thing, but it might actually net you a generous reward in the end. Seeking companionship for one Zuko Huo (22) in these trying times. A multitalented mathematics major, he’ll overcome any irrationalities during your date faster than you can say the first five digits of π. Chiseled and charming, this Lovett senior juggles a ridiculous courseload alongside his duties as the heart of the varsity cross-country team. Date must be: open-minded, passionate, and funny. Note/photo/phone please.

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[toph // 10:10 am] Oh  
[toph // 10:10 am] My  
[toph // 10:11 am] Lordt

[sugar queen // 10:29 am] What???

[toph // 10:45 am] I can’t believe  
[toph // 10:45 am] HAHAHA  
[toph // 10:46 am] Was this your big idea?  
[toph // 10:46 am] Posting for ZUKO?

[sugar queen // 11:02 am] -_-

[toph // 11:21 am] I can’t read that  
[toph // 11:21 am] But seriously  
[toph // 11:21 am] Zuko?  
[toph // 11:21 am] HAHAHA  
[toph // 11:22 am] What’re you playing at  
[toph // 11:22 am] I thought he was with that knives chick

[sugar queen // 11:40 am] You clearly have no idea what’s going on.  
[sugar queen // 11:40 am] Which is to be expected, since you don’t go here.

[toph // 11:43 am] Oi watch it

[sugar queen // 11:53 am] Zuko and Mai were never together.  
[sugar queen // 11:53 am] She stopped hanging out with us.  
[sugar queen // 12:04 pm] Something about “not keeping up a farce anymore?”

[toph // 12:09 pm] Ooooooh spicy  
[toph // 12:09 pm] Hot leaf juice time

[sugar queen // 12:15 pm] It really isn’t.

[toph // 12:34 pm] Okay but real talk  
[toph // 12:34 pm] Is that the only reason why  
[toph // 12:34 pm] You posted for Zuko?  
[toph // 12:35 pm] Because he’s single?  
[toph // 12:35 pm] Oh  
[toph // 12:35 pm] OH OH OH  
[toph // 12:35 pm] I HAVE A GREAT IDEA  
[toph // 12:36 pm] Wanna hear it

[sugar queen // 12:39 pm] Not particularly?

[toph // 12:45 pm] Okay here goes  
[toph // 12:46 pm] What do you think  
[toph // 12:46 pm] If we set them up  
[toph // 12:46 pm] Together  
[toph // 12:46 pm] For screw

[sugar queen // 1:21 pm] What????  
[sugar queen // 1:21 pm] Set who up???

[toph // 1:33 pm] Zuko and Snoozles  
[toph // 1:33 pm] Duh  
[toph // 1:34 pm] Who did you think I was talking about?

[sugar queen // 1:44 pm] Snoozles?  
[sugar queen // 1:44 pm] Oh, you meant Sokka.  
[sugar queen // 1:45 pm] Hm…

[toph // 3:01 pm] Oh this’ll be great  
[toph // 3:01 pm] I mean  
[toph // 3:02 pm] Snoozles might not get the date of a lifetime  
[toph // 3:02 pm] But I’ll have so much blackmail  
[toph // 3:04 pm] On both of them  
[toph // 3:04 pm] #worthit

[sugar queen // 3:20 pm] Honestly?  
[sugar queen // 3:20 pm] Now that I’m thinking about it…  
[sugar queen // 3:21 pm] That might not be a bad idea.

[toph // 4:35 pm] Oh wait there’s more  
[toph // 4:35 pm] Can you imagine  
[toph // 4:36 pm] The two of them together  
[toph // 4:36 pm] Awkward as hell  
[toph // 4:36 pm] Suki’s gonna freak the fuck out

[sugar queen // 4:59 pm] I honestly don’t think she’s going to freak out.

[toph // 5:04 pm] Wait this is great  
[toph // 5:04 pm] I’m a genius  
[toph // 5:04 pm] Bow down to your melon lordt  
[toph // 5:04 pm] I am the big melon

[sugar queen // 5:13 pm] ???

[toph // 5:32 pm] Okay anyways  
[toph // 5:32 pm] Wow I’m actually invested in this  
[toph // 5:32 pm] Can you imagine

[sugar queen // 5:36 pm] No, I can’t imagine.

[toph // 5:50 pm] Katara work with me   
[toph // 5:50 pm] Come on  
[toph // 5:50 pm] It’ll be so cute  
[toph // 5:51 pm] And gross  
[toph // 5:51 pm] But mostly cute  
[toph // 5:51 pm] Here I’ll make a pros and cons list  
[toph // 5:52 pm] Pros: they like each other already  
[toph // 5:52 pm] Cons: they like each other already  
[toph // 5:53 pm] As you can tell  
[toph // 5:53 pm] It balances out

[sugar queen // 6:02 pm] Huh?

[toph // 6:04 pm] Are you serious  
[toph // 6:04 pm] Please tell me I’m not the only one  
[toph // 6:05 pm] Do you not remember movie night  
[toph // 6:05 pm] Suki told me they shared burnt popcorn  
[toph // 6:05 pm] Sounds so fucking cute

[sugar queen // 6:14 pm] That popcorn was horrible.

[toph // 6:17 pm] This will be so romantic  
[toph // 6:17 pm] Like straight out of a K-drama  
[toph // 6:17 pm] I’m feeling the vibes  
[toph // 6:17 pm] Come on  
[toph // 6:18 pm] You know they’re meant for each other

[sugar queen // 6:32 pm] Are you doing this because you actually think it’ll work?  
[sugar queen // 6:32 pm] Or because you’re bored?

[toph // 6:43 pm] Katara!  
[toph // 6:43 pm] I’m shocked  
[toph // 6:44 pm] I would never do anything to harm Zuko  
[toph // 6:44 pm] He’s like a brother to me  
[toph // 6:46 pm] Sheesh

[sugar queen // 6:49 pm] Hm…  
[sugar queen // 6:50 pm] Fine, I’ll bite.

[toph // 7:00 pm] Yesssssss  
[toph // 7:00 pm] Lol I got some weird DMs  
[toph // 7:00 pm] Snoozles’s a hot commodity apparently

[sugar queen // 7:22 pm] PLEASE.  
[sugar queen // 7:22 pm] THIS IS MY BROTHER WE’RE TALKING ABOUT.

[toph // 7:29 pm] Okay fine  
[toph // 7:29 pm] Oh we need to decide on a theme  
[toph // 7:29 pm] So they can find each other

[sugar queen // 7:34 pm] We need to do that?

[toph // 7:41 pm] Yeah of course  
[toph // 7:41 pm] How else are they gonna find each other?  
[toph // 7:42 pm] Ugh I can’t think up of anything  
[toph // 7:42 pm] Too much mega melon muscle used  
[toph // 7:43 pm] You got any ideas?

[sugar queen // 7:51 pm] … Perhaps.

[toph // 7:52 pm] I’m waiting

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[smol one // 8:14 pm] Yo Suki  
[smol one // 8:14 pm] Can I ask you for a favor

[honey // 8:20 pm] What’s up, Toph?  
[honey // 8:21 pm] You know I have HackRice on Wednesdays.  
[honey // 8:21 pm] What do you need?

[smol one // 8:23 pm] I got Snoozles a date.

[honey // 8:24 pm] Snoozles?  
[honey // 8:24 pm] Oh, Sokka.  
[honey // 8:25 pm] … You’re kidding.  
[honey // 8:26 pm] I thought you said that no one offering was “up to your standards?”

[smol one // 8:26 pm] Well yeah  
[smol one // 8:26 pm] But then I changed my mind

[honey // 8:30 pm] Go on?

[smol one // 8:32 pm] Okay I need your help  
[smol one // 8:32 pm] I need some stuff

[honey // 8:40 pm] What kind of stuff?

[smol one // 8:43 pm] I’ll just send you what Katara sent me  
[smol one // 8:43 pm] Crap how do you screenshot  
[smol one // 8:43 pm] I'm literally blind  
[smol one // 8:46 pm] >>sent a screenshot<<

[honey // 8:53 pm] … A white polo?  
[honey // 8:53 pm] Pressed white pants?  
[honey // 8:54 pm] A white newsboy cap with dark blue stripes?  
[honey // 8:54 pm] What is this, a musical?

[smol one // 9:00 pm] Can you get me that stuff  
[smol one // 9:00 pm] Just help me out okay

[honey // 9:15 pm] Yeah, I’ll see what I can do.

✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦

Sokka’s smack dab in the midst of fighting off a particularly prickly problem set when his bedroom door swings wide open, a gust of warm September air blowing his homework every which way. He hurriedly screeches off of his chair to snatch up his papers, cursing under his breath as he stacks them into an untidy pile on his desk.

“What the fu—”

“ _SNOOZLES!_ ” A green blur barrels into his side. “ _ARE YOU READY TO SCREW?_ ”

Screw?

Oh. Great. Totally forgot about that.

(Fuck.)

Sokka gingerly extracts himself from Toph’s vice-like grip and squares his shoulders into a defensive stance. Toph jumps away and crouches down, a mini _sumo_ wrestler preparing to charge.

A minute passes.

Then Sokka bolts towards the open door towards sweet freedom, only to feel his short-lived relief come crashing down from what feels like the weight of a four-ton elephant on his back.

(By Tui’s right fin, how can someone so small feel so heavy?)

“C’mon, Snoozles. We got some work to do.” The shit-eating grin on Toph’s face is positively terrifying. Sokka struggles to escape, but he can’t fight against the sheer pressure weighing down on his back.

“Wait, _wait!_ At least tell me why you’re here,” Sokka wheezes. “How the crap did you even get in my apartment?”

“That would be me,” a familiar voice echoes from the doorway. Sokka watches as Suki twirls a set of keys around her fingers, lips curled in a smile. She tosses the keys towards Toph, the smaller girl catching them in between her fingers with some supernatural ability.

 _Oh, great_.

“C’mon now. You don’t wanna be late for _Screw_ ,” Toph smirks before dragging him into the bathroom. One hour later and Sokka is a changed man on the verge of a complete and utter breakdown. Gone is his beautiful wolftail, a crow’s nest of floppy hair in its place.

“You know that I hate y’all, right?” Sokka glares at Toph. She’s standing in front of him, arms crossed. Sokka can hear Suki humming as she tugs a hairbrush through his hair and ties it into a _ponytail_ with a flourish.

“And you know that we love and wish you all the best.” Suki pauses to admire her handiwork before lunging forward and grabbing Sokka’s chin and uncapping a Sharpie. “Now, hold still. You don’t want me to draw something scandalous on your face, do you?”

(At this point, Sokka thinks _anything_ would be more preferable to this entire situation.)

Another agonizing thirty minutes pass before Suki and Toph send Sokka out of the apartment with a screechy “ _GO GET ‘EM SNOOZLES!_ ” and “ _YOUR CODE PHRASE IS ‘I DON’T DANCE’!_ ” coupled with several whoops and hollers that everyone this side of the Mississippi can probably hear. Sokka grimaces as he drags himself towards the heart of campus, picking at a loose thread on his white polo shirt in the balmy afternoon air.

His phone vibrates with a text from Ty Lee about meeting outside the quad. Ty Lee’s a good friend, a bubbly girl one year younger than Sokka whom he first met in their object-oriented programming class. They quickly bonded over their shared angst over coding, pulling all-nighters together in the library or desperately chasing after bugs hiding in line after line of Javascript. Puzzled, he types out a quick reply before shoving his phone back into his pocket. Sokka begins brainstorming ten different ways to kill his friends when he gets back home, most of them involving copious amounts of alcohol or accidental banana peels on the staircase leading to their apartment. Stupid, stupid Toph.

(And Suki. But Sokka doesn’t dare to say that to her face. Suki can be absolutely frightening sometimes.)

Stupid, stupid _Screw_.

Once upon a time, back when Sokka still had all that swagger and the charm of a small-town boy, a single wink would send all the girls in the room tittering towards him like some neodymium magnet. It’s been harder and harder (no pun intended) to keep up this front when he has what feels like a trillion assignments due every day. Sure, Sokka does go on his fair share of dates in between class projects and papers, but he’s never spent the night anywhere else except in the engineering library or in his room, racing against his impending deadlines like his entire life depends on it. (Well, mostly his career, but you get the point.)

So yeah, you can say that Sokka’s been struggling a bit in balancing his school life and his social life. (Or lack thereof.)

And of course _Toph_ —Toph, who doesn’t even _go_ to Rice but still pops up at every single free food event for some reason—would be the one to pick up on Sokka’s predicament and broadcast them to the entirety of Rice University, like some dirty laundry waving happily out the window for all to see.

Sokka had wondered if something was up when he noticed that there were more than a few flirtatious glances thrown in his general direction during his daily pilgrimage through campus to his classes. His spidey-sense had started tingling when the girl sitting in front of him in his engineering ethics class descended into a fit of giggles when he thanked her for passing him a copy of their weekly assignment. And he was absolutely, one-hundred percent sure something had happened when a guy passing by in the dining hall had paused and wolf-whistled at him.

(No. Because Sokka is definitely _not_ wolf-whistling material.)

Toph confessed to the entire thing almost immediately: how she thought it would be in Sokka’s best interest to get a date and how Screw would be the _perfect place to meet the future spouse_! Sokka was far more impressed by the fact that Toph came clean so quickly, especially considering how she had a sadistic tendency to keep her pranks on the down-low. It probably had something to do with the unspoken threat of _I-will-force-you-to-go-skydiving-with-me_ that was apparently enough to get that tough nut to crack.

Now, onto the _complete and utter chaos_ of Screw.

Any self-respecting Rice student knows about Screw, of course. (It’s practically the first thing you learn about in O-Week, after all.) Most people tend to use it as a matchmaking joke of sorts, and others use it as a savage way to play jokes on their roommates.

(And another thing: Screw is supposed to be for _roommates_. Sokka has no idea why Toph—Toph, of all people—would write out a post for him.)

( _She doesn’t even live here_.)

Statistically speaking, Sokka’s pretty much an outlier from the entire Screw thing, especially since he doesn’t even have a Facebook profile to begin with. (His classes in cybersecurity and hacking have made him hyper aware about a possible invasion of privacy.) Not to mention the fact that Screw has got to be one of the weirdest, most invasive things Sokka’s ever heard of. It’s one thing to set up your own Tinder profile or go on a Bumble date. It’s a totally different can of worms if your _roommate_ is the one doing the matching.

Sokka’s never participated in Screw before. By some miracle, he’s managed to find excuses for the first three years, but Toph can be one heck of a persistent badgermole who completely committed to her passions—namely annoying Katara, binging on candy, and tormenting Sokka or Zuko.

(Oh, Zuko.)

The mere thought of his sister’s best friend has Sokka biting the inside of his cheek in an effort to distract himself from any errant thoughts. Zuko Huo is honestly one of the most adorable people he’s ever met, a tall, hesitant raven-head of a senior who nursed a cup of apple juice and huddled next to Katara in the corner of Suki’s living room during a house party.

(Adorable. Now there’s a word no one will ever catch Sokka saying aloud.)

Suki had started up a LOTR movie marathon that culminated in one too many empty bottles of wine and a drunk Jet one beer away from imitating Gollum’s nasty voice before Suki had swiped the can out from under his nose. (“ _But my precioussss!_ ” “ _Jet Cao, calm the fuck down in my house_.”) Sometime in between _The Two Towers_ and _The Return of the King_ , Sokka and Zuko had ended up squeezing on the sofa next to each other. Sokka offered Zuko some of his burnt popcorn—it was, as they say, love at first bite.

Sometimes, Sokka wonders what Zuko is up to these days. He’s pretty sure (more like 100% sure) he slipped his number to the guy at some point during that movie night before he left, but based on the fact that Zuko has never texted, Sokka’s come to one of two conclusions: Zuko either lost his number (bad), or he just isn’t interested in Sokka (worse). Tui only knows how many things Zuko has to deal with as a stressed and burnt-out senior, especially these days. And though Sokka’s pretty sure that seniors are generally considered hot commodities in the college dating department, he himself will probably create more problems than solutions for anyone.

(He hasn’t told anyone about how he’s actually feeling, least of all _Toph_. That girl only needs one tiny excuse to wreck the carefully-constructed Jenga tower of Sokka’s entire life.)

(Well, he did try to talk to his sister about it once, but Katara had merely shuddered and made an excuse about a club meeting before running off. Seriously. What are younger sisters even for?)

And now this shit. Sokka stomps his feet for emphasis, watching as a small cloud of dust lands on his white sneakers. They’re easily some of the ugliest shoes he’s ever worn (and they pinch like heck to the spirit realm), but he grits his teeth and hurries on.

(The shit he puts up with for Toph, honestly.)

But Sokka is nothing if not a stubborn asshole, so when Toph announces how she has finally found an appropriate date for him during Screw and how she will happily pay for the entire date if Sokka even shows up, Sokka is just curious enough to go through the whole charade. (That, and the promise of a free meal never hurt anyone. He’s a starving college student, okay?) Said charade results in him wearing a white polo shirt and tight, white jeans, a blue-striped white newsboy cap perched on his head and a baseball glove scrunched under one arm. The sharpied moles on the right side of Sokka’s face itch like crazy, but he resists the urge to reach up and scratch at them. (Really? Were the moles necessary?)

He’s supposed to be _the_ Chad Danforth of East High, after all.

(Corbin Bleu, eat your heart out.)

(And _yes_ , _High School Musical_ is fan-fucking-tastic and practically a rite of passage. Sokka’s watched the movie series at least three times on his own. He’s even ventured into the Disney+ mockumentary series. It’s good, but it just doesn’t have the same feel as the original, you know.)

Sokka walks towards the academic quad and sees Ty Lee sitting on a bench, her eyes fixated on the phone in front of her as she taps her foot impatiently. Ty Lee is wearing a black T-shirt with a band graphic printed on the front of two Candy People and purple pajama pants. A gold circlet sits on her hair, a single pinnacle pointing upwards in the front and adorned with a blue jewel. Sokka smiles—Ty Lee’s done a fantastic job transforming into a casual version of Princess Bubblegum.

“Hey there, your majesty,” Sokka says, grinning when Ty Lee glances up at him and almost drops her phone in shock. “How do I look?”

Ty Lee holds a hand to mouth, her brown-gray eyes widening in a mixture of shock and delight. “If I wasn’t so gay, I’d let you take me to first base.”

“Ah-ah-ah,” Sokka chides. “Look, I’m just a hoops dude, remember?” He dips his head slightly before offering an elbow. “Now, shall we?”

Princess Bubblegum gracefully clasps her hand around his arm. “Gladly.”

Even though Rice has a huge academic quad, Sokka doesn’t usually walk through the yard that much, seeing as how he spends most of his time hunkering down at home or dying in Duncan in between classes. Still, the sprawling, delicately manicured lawns look exactly the same as they did the first time he walked through them during O-Week. He and Ty Lee have definitely arrived fashionably late; there are already a ton of people milling about, each eagerly searching for their perfect match. Sokka watches as a blond girl with a giant “THING 1” taped on her shirt dash towards a mohawk-wielding guy with a patterned “THING 2” on his back and tapping him on the shoulder. A frantic-looking guy in a Pokemon Trainer hat follows a pair of yellow ears, weaving through the crowd just past Ty Lee. Sokka thinks he looks somewhat familiar, but he isn’t sure where he’s seen that face before.

“See your date yet?” Ty Lee pipes up from Sokka’s side. Sokka looks down at her with a wry smile.

“Nah, I don’t think so.” He continues peering through the crowd, heart sinking as he watches more and more people slowly begin to pair up.

“Oh!” and before Sokka can say anything, Ty Lee’s off, flouncing her way towards a girl dressed as Marceline, her dark hair floating in the wind behind her as she wields a red cardboard cutout of an electric bass over her shoulder. Sokka grins as the two girls hug before turning back towards him and waving. He vaguely recognizes the other girl as Mai, one of Zuko’s good friends whom Ty Lee constantly talked about during their late-night review sessions.

Sokka shoots them a thumbs-up.

“You got this!” Princess Bubblegum and Marceline blow kisses in Sokka’s direction before turning back to their own conversation.

And then Sokka’s alone, awkwardly twisting and squeezing past people as he pushes through the crowd to look for his date. There’s probably a couple hundred people here _and_ the quad is huge, and a seedling of doubt plants itself into his mind. What if his date thought it was a big joke? What if they didn’t even show up? What if Toph is playing the cruelest trick known to humankind? (Sokka’s sure that Toph, as savage as she can be, can’t possibly be that cruel.)

Speaking of Toph—Sokka scrolls through his phone to the latest message about his date’s code phrase that Toph’s sent him: “ _I know you can_ ” shines back in dark letters. _Hopefully, this will clear things up a bit_.

But Sokka’s hope evaporates with each passing minute, the crowd thinning out as matching couples leave the quad, most of them lost in conversation or bashfully staring at each other. He’s tapped several people on the shoulder and repeated his phrase, only to realize everyone’s heard of _HSM_ but isn’t the person he’s looking for. The seedling in Sokka’s mind is now a full-out tree, branches tangling in his thoughts while he continues meandering around for any sign of—

—and there he is.

It’s as if someone above finally takes pity on Sokka because he finally sees a red baseball jersey rippling from the other side of the quad like a beacon. His date, whoever they are, has their back turned towards Sokka, their dark hair ruffling in the breeze. Sighing, Sokka rubs his hands together, sends a little prayer of thanks to the spirits, and strides across the quad.

“Uh, _I don’t dance_ ,” he whispers, tapping on the person’s shoulder and watching as they whirl around in a gust of sun and smoke and _shock_.

“Sokka?”

“ _That’s_ your code phrase?” Sokka blurts out in confusion before squinting at the person standing in front him. “Wait. _Zuko_?”

Oh, shit.

Sokka pinches himself just to be sure, because no one told him that Zuko, that turtleneck-wearing, juice-drinking, heart-melting senior can clean up like this, all lean edges and curves accentuated by his white sleeveless shirt and red-and-white baseball jersey. Zuko is wearing baseball knickers that look completely sinful, stretching in all the right places, and the jersey really doesn’t help with countering Sokka’s wildest fantasies. Zuko stares at him with deep, piercing eyes, and Sokka swears that he literally feels his heart staccato for a second.

“Oh,” Zuko quickly drops his gaze and fumbles with his baseball cap, a rich crimson smothering his dark hair. “Um, _I know you can_.”

 _You can say that again_ , Sokka thinks as he smiles to himself. Zuko is downright charming, all flustered and red all over.

Zuko catches him staring and immediately starts babbling. “Ah, I know I’m supposed to have blond hair, but I’m actually allergic to hair dye and there wasn’t enough time to bleach it—and my classes ran over late so I had to run back to my place to get changed and I just got here, so I’m guessing that’s why you couldn’t find me—”

“You’re rambling, buddy,” Sokka finds himself saying as he leans forward to adjust his date’s baseball cap. “And trust me, you look—”

_What’s the word?_

_Oh, why not_.

“—adorable,” he mutters, taking a step back to admire his work. _Yep. I said that. Zuko is fucking adorable_.

“I look _what_?” Zuko bites his lip, and it takes all of Sokka’s willpower to block his brain from going somewhere dangerous.

“Adorable. Cute. Whatever.” The tree in Sokka’s head is in full-on blooming mode, pink petals of blush painting his cheeks.

“Really?” Zuko looks hopeful. “No one knew who I was supposed to be.”

“What? Are you serious?” Sokka says, appalled. Maybe the lack of blond hair didn’t help, but seriously? How did no one recognize Ryan Evans from _High School Musical_ , only the greatest movie franchise of the twenty-first century?

“Perhaps it’s my hair,” and Zuko looks a bit crestfallen.

“Oh.” Sokka scratches his head in embarrassment. “Sorry ‘bout that.”

“Maybe I should’ve gone with the hair dye,” Zuko says, and Sokka almost laughs at the utter sincerity in his voice.

“Dude, it’s all good. We still found each other, right?” He pats Zuko on the back and ushers both of them towards the entrance of the quad. “Now c’mon. Let’s go grab dinner.”

They end up in some swanky little French bistro with Ty Lee and Mai; the two girls have thoughtfully waited for Sokka while he was off looking for his date. Dinner goes by in a flash, and Sokka barely remembers eating his steak or drinking his wine because _oh spirits_ , he’s completely drunk off of his conversation with Zuko.

By the third bottle of red wine, Sokka discovers that deep underneath that quiet, nervous math-major exterior hides a whip-smart guy with a sharp tongue to boot. Zuko opens up about the soap opera that is his entire extended family while Sokka peppers the conversation with bits and pieces about his own family (but mostly about Katara). It doesn’t take long for both of them to realize their mutual love for Jeopardy and Star Wars, and Sokka crosses his fingers under the table when he quietly asks Zuko if he would like to come over to watch _Rogue One_. The smile on Zuko’s face when he says yes is enough to send butterflies careening down into Sokka’s stomach.

 _How did it take me four years to meet this guy?_ Sokka thinks to himself as they leave the restaurant—but whatever. At least they’re having this chance now.

The walk back to Sokka’s place seems slower than usual, Sokka lacing his fingers in Zuko’s hand as they walk under the hazy purple-blue sky dotted with tiny stars. The apartment is completely dark when both of them in; Toph and Suki must’ve left a while ago.

“Make yourself at home,” Sokka motions towards the TV while he rummages around the pantry, retrieving a bag of popcorn that he tosses into the microwave. He pulls off his newsboy cap and places it on the table. “Mind watching the popcorn? Gonna go put this away.”

“Of course,” Zuko murmurs as he takes off his baseball jersey and folds it across the back of a chair.

The popcorn turns out a bit burnt, as always, but neither Zuko nor Sokka seem to mind as they squish together on the couch. The couch is not nearly big enough for both of them, so Sokka opts to curl up against Zuko as he flicks on the TV and finagles with Disney+ onscreen. They watch Jyn Erso make her way across the galaxy to find her father, sharing pieces of charred popcorn and chatting about the visuals and the storyline.

 _Rogue One_ comes to a close on a rapidly deteriorating Scarif, and Sokka watches Jyn and Cassian hug one last time. This part always gets to him, the part of a quiet love between two people, and it’s arguably the best kind of romance—the kind that runs so deep, even words can’t begin to describe those feelings.

“Hey,” he turns towards Zuko and immediately falls quiet. Zuko’s eyes are glistening, his lips in a thin line as he stares, transfixed, at the screen. Sokka thinks that he could look at Zuko all day, just the two of them alone in the world.

“Zuko?” and Zuko turns towards him, their noses so close that they bump awkwardly together. Amber meets sapphire, and Sokka reaches forward to brush a small tear from Zuko’s cheek, his hand lingering against the sharp cheekbones for a fraction longer than he intends.

He kisses Zuko to the sound of the orchestra soaring above them, a triumphant cascade of brassy notes and woodwind fanfare in harmony. But as Sokka tries to deepen the kiss, he realizes that Zuko is as stiff as a board, lips unyielding, eyes wide in shock.

“Oh, shit.” Sokka scrambles away and pretty much falls off the couch, apologizing profusely. “Shit, I’m sorry—fuck, I didn’t, I mean, I thought, I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable or pressure you into anything—”

But the look on Zuko’s face as wordlessly pulls Sokka back onto the couch, all blushes and wibbly-wobbly smiles, does wonders to quell Sokka’s fears.

“I enjoyed it very much,” Zuko says, and he reaches up to cup Sokka’s face in his hands. “Very, very much.”

And _oh spirits_ , they’re kissing again, and Zuko’s tongue is doing unspeakably filthy things that leave Sokka panting and quivering, his knees shaking as he reaches around to grab Zuko—anything, really, so he doesn’t fall apart in an instant. _We can definitely add “talented kisser” to the list_ , his brain gleefully declares, and Sokka darts down for another go, ignoring the ache building in his pants as he explores every inch, every space in Zuko’s mouth. Zuko tastes like buttered popcorn and smoke and something more, and Sokka finds it completely addictive.

“Bedroom,” he manages to pant as they both take a second to steady their breathing. “Bedroom, _now_.” and Zuko’s hand is trembling in his as they trip into Sokka’s room.

The lock barely clicks in place before Zuko heaves Sokka against the wall and kisses him six ways to Sunday, teeth skimming against Sokka’s swollen lips before biting down gently. The sudden twinge of pain somersaults straight into Sokka’s groin, and (not) for the first time that night, he curses Suki and Toph for picking tight pants.

(And Sokka promptly kicks Suki and Toph out of his thoughts, because there’s nothing quite like the thought of his two friends bouncing around wildly in his brain to derail the entire situation.)

Zuko breathes quietly against Sokka’s ear, his right leg needling its way between Sokka’s leg and nudging against a very enthusiastic bulge.

“Oh, _fuck_ ,” Zuko murmurs, and the sound of cussing from the normally uptight Zuko is almost enough to send Sokka right over the edge.

“As much as I— _fuck_ —am enjoying— _oh, shit_ —this, I don’t think I can last much longer,” Sokka rasps, rutting desperately against Zuko’s thigh. ( _By the spirits_ _, is this what all cross-country runners are like?_ ) He yelps as Zuko unceremoniously grabs him by his arms and stumbles towards the foot of the empty bed.

“Better?” and Zuko reaches past Sokka’s head and pulls off the hairband, brushing a stray wisp of umber away from Sokka’s face as his hair tumbles down. “Your hair is soft.”

“Oh, really?” Sokka huffs as he peels his polo off. The pants are next. “Maybe I should wear it down more often.”

“ _No_.” The glance Zuko gives him is borderline criminal, sending ripples of arousal down Sokka’s spine.

“Whatever floats your boat, buddy.” Sokka drops his pants off the side of the bed, and when he looks up, Zuko has taken everything off, folding his shirt and his knickers in a careful bundle. When Sokka finally takes a good look at Zuko, it’s as if all the air is suddenly punched out of his lungs. Zuko is all wiry muscles and tanned skin, and Sokka can’t wait to worship every single inch. And _by Tui and La’s adipose fins_ , Zuko is fucking _hung_.

Fuck.

“You’re so fucking hot,” Sokka growls, flipping them over so Zuko is splayed across the bed, Sokka crouching over him. His fingers trail down Zuko’s wonderful thighs all wicked-slow, and Sokka takes his time with tiny bites that leave Zuko bucking against his arms and grasping his hair with unsteady hands.

Sokka slowly noses his way upwards, marveling at the honey-mint musk that leaves his entire body yearning for more. He gives Zuko’s cock a quick tug, chuckling when Zuko’s entire body jerks upwards in surprise, hands pulling at Sokka’s hair and bringing tears to his eyes.

There’s a bit of a rush as Sokka leans across Zuko and fumbles in his drawer for some lube and condoms, carefully slicking both of them up before surveying his handiwork. Zuko looks positively debauched, messy hair floating in ringlets around his face, his lust-blown eyes holding Sokka’s gaze unflinchingly.

“Want you now,” Sokka says, stroking the side of Zuko’s face with a calloused hand as he straddles him. “Want you now and forever.”

“Then come get it,” Zuko replies, grinding against Sokka, and Sokka wonders if his beautiful, naïve math major had always played this coy. “Are you going to fuck me, Sokka?”

In that instant, all manner of reason flies out the window. “Nah, we can do that next time,” Sokka grins, his breath hitching. “I was actually thinking the other way around.”

And before Zuko can respond, he guides both of their hands downwards. “C’mon, I’m ready.”

When the first lube-covered finger pushes just past the rim and hooks against his taut muscles, Sokka lets out a mortifyingly high-pitched moan. It’s been ages since he’s done anything like this, and the gentle pressure as Zuko slowly teases in feels just right.

“Oh _yeah_ , right there.” And Sokka moans when Zuko brushes right past that sensitive spot deep inside him. “Holy _fuck_.”

Zuko blinks at him shyly before nudging against the spot again, this time a bit harder, and Sokka almost keens.

“Tease,” he mutters before another finger joins the first and Sokka’s gone, shuddering as he grasps Zuko’s hips to steady himself. His nerves are sparks, his arms trembling as he strains to stay upright.

Zuko slips his fingers out, and Sokka almost whines at the loss of warmth before a blunt heat nudges against him hesitantly.

“Is this—”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, _sweetheart_.” With what little strength he has remaining, Sokka sinks down in one languid thrust. Something heady sears its way through his entire body and he takes a moment to adjust because Zuko is everywhere inside him, setting off a roar of exhilaration tinged with the slightest bit of pain.

And _holy fuck_ , they don’t fit perfectly together like a puzzle, mostly because puzzle pieces are rough and sharp at the edges (and Sokka’s terrible at similes). But Zuko feels _so_ perfect, all warm and lean as he pulls out and thrusts in once more, clasping Sokka’s hands like there’s no tomorrow.

Sokka arches his back with each successive push, drowning as a riptide of pleasure engulfs him in heat.

“Zuko— _shit_ , _fuck_ — _that’s rough, buddy_ ,” Sokka wails, letting out a string of curses. Zuko’s hitting all the right spots, and Sokka’s scrambling to hold onto anything, literally anything, to anchor himself.

Zuko’s eyelids are fluttering, his swollen lips parting ever so slightly as Sokka kisses him once more, arching against the delicious friction below. He knows he’s not going to last long, and when Zuko unclasps a hand to fist Sokka’s cock, the sudden movement takes him right over the edge. Sokka whimpers, white static blurring his vision as he seizes up, barely feeling Zuko twitching inside him as both of them come.

And just like that, Sokka falls forward against Zuko’s chest, still shuddering because _holy shit, that was fucking amazeballs_ , and _holy spirits, I’d give anything to do that again_. The air is silent, save for their soft gasps, before Zuko pulls out, rolls them onto their sides and wraps Sokka in his arms.

“Sokka,” and even in the dim light of the bedroom, Sokka can see Zuko’s grin. “That was amazing.”

“Fuck,” Sokka gasps.

“If I’m going to be honest,” and Zuko’s smile is all gummy and warm as Sokka traces the edges of his scar with a shaking finger, “I’ve wanted to see you again ever since Suki’s party.”

Sokka laughs, booping Zuko on the nose with his index finger. “I gave you my number.” And then: “How come you never texted me back?”

Zuko looks so forlorn, Sokka’s worried that he’s hit a nerve. “I lost your number, and I didn’t want to ask Suki for it.”

“You dummy, Suki would’ve given my number to you anyways.” Sokka presses a feather-light kiss to Zuko’s forehead.

“Didn’t want Suki to find out.” Zuko mutters, and Sokka chuckles as he pulls Zuko into a deep hug, snuggling his face into his hair.

A sudden _ding!_ startles startles them out of the moment. Sighing, Sokka reluctantly unwinds from Zuko’s embrace to search for the offending sound, only to find his phone lighting up with a barrage of text notifications. He scrolls through them quickly and groans, tossing his phone on his desk before returning to the bed and snuggling up against Zuko.

“Uh, well, I think it’s a little too late for that.”

✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦

[smol one // 3:11 am] Yo Suki

[honey // 3:25 am] Toph Beifong, it is 3 AM.  
[honey // 3:25 am] Why are you bothering me?  
[honey // 3:26 am] I’m trying to finish _Wild, Wild Country_.

[smol one // 3:30 am] Okay okay  
[smol one // 3:30 am] Anyways I just want to let you know  
[smol one // 3:31 am] You owe me big time  
[smol one // 3:33 am] >>sent a picture<<

[honey // 4:20 am] HOLY SHIT  
[honey // 4:20 am] Wait.  
[honey // 4:21 am] How did you even take a picture?

[smol one // 5:46 am] >;)))

[honey // 1:04 pm] I… I don’t even want to know

✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦

[toph // 2:04 pm] >>sent a screenshot<<  
[toph // 2:06 pm] We did it

[sugar queen // 2:30 pm] … Oh my spirits.  
[sugar queen // 2:30 pm] That's the baseball jersey I gave Zuko.

[toph // 2:46 pm] Yup  
[toph // 2:46 pm] Zuko was here

[sugar queen // 3:10 pm] I can’t believe your plan actually worked.

[toph // 3:38 pm] What can I say  
[toph // 3:38 pm] I am truly the big melon

[sugar queen // 4:19 pm] Indeed.  
[sugar queen // 4:20 pm] You truly are the big melon.

**Author's Note:**

> as always, comments/kudos are my life :')


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